Relational Gradus - Compassion

I've heard a saying that goes something like this, "When you're full of passion, you're empty of compassion." At first, I didn't agree with that, but as I've traveled this Relational Gradus pathway, it has become more apparent to me I was mistaken to think that there MUST be something related in the two words. Realizing that they share the same basic word (passion), it seems they would be more related. What I originally objected to in the quote above was the idea that you couldn't have both passion and compassion active at the same time.

My reasoning for this was when I think "passion", I think of our Lord Jesus Christ as He spent His last week - from the last supper with His disciples to the Cross - and how this is often referred to as Christ's Passion Week. I also consider the Mel Gibson movie, The Passion Of The Christ, and though I've owned the DVD for quite some time, the one and only time I've seen the movie was in the theaters. The movie was strong and quite compelling to me. It also set a capstone in my own personal healing of a relational break that occurred more than seven years ago. I'm still processing the healing that God has brought me and have gained greater understanding of my responsibility to Him in all relationships. I'm also getting closer to taking what I believe will be the next step in restoring that broken relationship.

As our group discussion unfolded, we talked about how passion is most often characterized and defined as "self" oriented … with the exception of the final dictionary offering: "Archaic. the sufferings of a martyr." In other words, our society has shifted the understanding of passion as something away from what Christ manifested in dying on the Cross and restoring our relationship with God the Father.

Alternately, our discussion on compassion went most often in the direction of "others minded". Which, if you think of the Passion of Jesus, that's the epitome of what, why, and how He did what He did … for others. That's where my original objection to the above quote stemmed from. Additionally, our discussion revealed that compassion demands action. The word itself is founded on doing something about what you're feeling - to the benefit of the recipient.

We will continue the topic of compassion as we join together again on April 6th along with taking time for some role playing.

Homework assignment for Monday, April 6th
Observe relational interactions with others and note the following:

• Read the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37) and refer to the definitions of passion and compassion.
• When do you observe YOURSELF showing compassion or not?
• Come prepared to share your observations (at least one for each of the above).
• ADDITIONAL ASSIGNMENT: Come prepared with a real life situation that you would be willing to offer as a role play. We'll do one in the "big" group and then afford time for another one in the small group break out.

Thanks for joining me in this journey!!

"Man may dismiss compassion from his heart, but God never will." - William Cowper

Blessings!

Relational Gradus - Curiosity (continued)

Once again, we didn't have opportunity to role play. A question that one might ask is: "What is so important about role playing?" or "What is your obsession with role playing?" Well, first, I have many obsessions, so I don't want to take you down that road. :)

Now, let's think of role playing as trying on clothes at the store. In that process, we ensure they fit properly, we check out our overall appearance, we decide if alterations are necessary, and if our significant other or friend agrees with our assessment. Sometimes, we think we look pretty sharp, only to answer the knock on our door one day to see Stacy and Clinton standing there (What Not To Wear)! The process might be easier with clothes and a mirror. But, when it comes to how we think, talk, and act it's nearly impossible, without help, to get an accurate assessment in our interactions with others. (You may recall that we touched on this "think, talk, act" concept of free will when we had The Garden Model discussion. If you're interested, please feel free to bring it up and we can take a few minutes to review the concept.)

Role playing allows us to consider the mental and perception reflections from others much as a mirror affords the visual reflections. When we hear and consider what folks think and perceive as they observe us, we can learn some invaluable insight. As it has been said, what people perceive you to be is who you are to them. Now, don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that we become obsessive (remember, I have lots of those points) about what others think of us. However, we would be remiss if we simply ignored input from others. Okay, enough on that.

In our March 16th session we talked about what genuine curiosity is about. Here is a simple diagram to help refresh your memory. In it we can see that curiosity spans a spectrum from bad to good. The highest goal would be to align ourselves to a thinking that Jesus extols in Luke 18:16 MSG by taking a child-like attitude to our approach to the Kingdom - which is exclusively relational in essence. As the diagram portrays, our curiosity can be veiled in many ways. The more we become aware of our curious nature, the more we can effect positive change of that nature.

Homework assignment for Monday, March 23rd
Observe relational interactions with others and note the following:

• When do you observe YOURSELF showing child-like curiosity or not?
• Come prepared to share your observations (at least one for each of the above)

We are on a learning journey with God. He has so much to teach us and we have so much growing up to do when it comes to relationships. Be challenged to change your thinking to align more with God's thinking (Romans 12:2 NLT). Thanks for reading and joining me in this journey!!

"Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions." - Oliver Wendell Holmes


Blessings!

Relational Gradus - Curiosity (continued)

Ok, we didn't get a chance to do our role playing, but we will!! We did, however, begin our discussion on curiosity and its connection with transparency. The theory on the table right now that we're testing is "What Happens When God Asks Why?". I propose, based on my own study, that God asks "why" of humankind for two reasons. One, to turn us from sin, or, two, to reveal the results of sin. I'm encouraging anybody and everybody to look at scripture and see if you understand it differently.

We finally reviewed a few clips from the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice in regard to Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy. We saw how their relationship evolved and how the transparency and curiosity grew with it. Does anybody have other thoughts they'd like to share on what you observed?

We'll continue our curiosity dialog next week ... keep this in mind: When Jesus said we must be like little children in our approach to the Kingdom, what do you think He meant?

Homework assignment for Monday, March 16th
Observe relational interactions with others and note the following:

• When do you observe the other person being curious OR not curious?
• When do you observe YOURSELF being curious or not curious?
• Come prepared to share your observations (at least one for each of the above)

As we continue our Relational Gradus education, we'll have greater opportunity to allow God to expand us and challenge us in what we're learning. As Albert Einstein echoes Romans 12; "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.", the more we learn, the more we're responsible to live. Allow your thinking to change so that you can become all that God wants you to be for His purpose and His glory!! It's an exciting time to live for Jesus, right?

Blessings!!

Relational Gradus - Curiosity

In our Relational Gradus journey, we've covered the concept and initial exercises for "transparency". For our next meeting on March 9th, we'll wind down the topic of transparency with some role playing. I'm thinking you'll find it entertaining and revealing at the same time because it's amazing how non-transparent we can be in some of the simplest aspects of life. You'll have opportunity to share your perspectives on this as well. Don't worry, it's not that we won't touch this topic again, as we will.

Additionally, we'll be doing another movie analysis as an introduction to the "curiosity" level of our relationships. We'll also discuss what is revealed when we ask "why" in our relationships. It's a packed agenda, if you agree to go there together, and I'm very excited about the journey we're on and looking forward to seeing you all again.

Have a great week and God bless you!