I love the idea of more interaction I feel it is key to being able to use something in your own life (at least for me). I do feel some people may be able to just listen and apply it but I would almost venture to say a lot more people learn by doing. I believe we, especially as Christians, need better tools so that we can show a better example for God. I also believe God wants us to stretch and I believe that everytime he has laid it on my heart to step out of my comfort zone he has taught me so much.
I would like to suggest we break down to smaller groups (as necessary) of 4, 5, or 6. Then come back together to share what we learned as a total group.
I would like to learn how to have a more successful dialog with a person who has either a strong opinion or strong personality.
I would like to have an open forum for people to share about continuing on and how that would look to them.
What do others in the group think about this?
Ann T.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Ok, a question has been raised:
I'm going to share my thinking first and then invite others from the group to share theirs.
From Rod:
One important thing to consider is what we mean by "reason, season, lifetime"? Once those terms can be defined, it gives us a foundation to build upon. So, let's see what Dictionary.com has to offer. "Reason" (in short) is a cause, action, or event. "Season" (in short) is a period of time. "Lifetime" (in short) is the duration of a person's life. That was pretty easy - but without having terminology defined, it can cause some grief down the road because you may mean one thing and they might mean something else even when using the same word or phrase.
Next, it sounds like you may understand your "purpose" in the relationship ... how does it relate to the other person's understanding? If you don't know, then part of the growth in any relationship is to talk tough and/or sensitive things. This is where we often don't suceed in relational matters. We keep our thinking to ourselves, assuming that by mind-reading, or body language, or osmosis, that the other person will figure out what's going on in our head. Also, we don't ask questions and then we make assumptions about what the other person is thinking and launch our reactions.
Now, comes the hard part ... actually talking with the other person about it and discovering what their thinking and perspective is. During this time you will share your thoughts about the "interest and effort" you're mentioning above. Explain your side, ask for theirs and then see what happens next. You may have to agree that the relationship isn't heading in the same direction. In other words, they may think of it as a "lifetime" when you're thinking "season". This calls for a discussion on those tough and/or sensitive things.
In the end, when you take the initiative of being open/honest (transparent) and compassionate while expressing your desire to know what they're thinking (curiosity), both people can move to being responsible for their part of the relationship. Hopefully, they will understand and move along in this learning with you.
Keep in mind this may be a bit of a journey and not simply a "one time" conversation. People are often not surprised by "broken" relationships because of past experiences and they can simply chalk it up to us being a jerk. But, when we can demonstrate that we value the person and the relationship (though understanding exactly "what" that relationship should be is important) it will pay back in the long term.
How does this work for you? What thoughts do you have about what I've shared?
OK - now this is where others can join in and provide their thoughts on this. Come On! Join the fun and learning. You won't regret it!
"We've talked about relationships having purposes of reason, season or a lifetime. What do we do when we feel a relationship has a different purpose than the other person? You don't want to break the relationship completely, but the interest and effort isn't balanced. It's nothing personal you just feel the purpose is different."
I'm going to share my thinking first and then invite others from the group to share theirs.
From Rod:
One important thing to consider is what we mean by "reason, season, lifetime"? Once those terms can be defined, it gives us a foundation to build upon. So, let's see what Dictionary.com has to offer. "Reason" (in short) is a cause, action, or event. "Season" (in short) is a period of time. "Lifetime" (in short) is the duration of a person's life. That was pretty easy - but without having terminology defined, it can cause some grief down the road because you may mean one thing and they might mean something else even when using the same word or phrase.
Next, it sounds like you may understand your "purpose" in the relationship ... how does it relate to the other person's understanding? If you don't know, then part of the growth in any relationship is to talk tough and/or sensitive things. This is where we often don't suceed in relational matters. We keep our thinking to ourselves, assuming that by mind-reading, or body language, or osmosis, that the other person will figure out what's going on in our head. Also, we don't ask questions and then we make assumptions about what the other person is thinking and launch our reactions.
Now, comes the hard part ... actually talking with the other person about it and discovering what their thinking and perspective is. During this time you will share your thoughts about the "interest and effort" you're mentioning above. Explain your side, ask for theirs and then see what happens next. You may have to agree that the relationship isn't heading in the same direction. In other words, they may think of it as a "lifetime" when you're thinking "season". This calls for a discussion on those tough and/or sensitive things.
In the end, when you take the initiative of being open/honest (transparent) and compassionate while expressing your desire to know what they're thinking (curiosity), both people can move to being responsible for their part of the relationship. Hopefully, they will understand and move along in this learning with you.
Keep in mind this may be a bit of a journey and not simply a "one time" conversation. People are often not surprised by "broken" relationships because of past experiences and they can simply chalk it up to us being a jerk. But, when we can demonstrate that we value the person and the relationship (though understanding exactly "what" that relationship should be is important) it will pay back in the long term.
How does this work for you? What thoughts do you have about what I've shared?
OK - now this is where others can join in and provide their thoughts on this. Come On! Join the fun and learning. You won't regret it!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Gambling God's Way (With Relationships)
Introduction:
This is a "blog" for our small group to continue in its learning and application of what we've covered in recent weeks. The intention of this blog is:
- keep us "fired up" on gambling with relationships
- allow for an interactive forum for our small group members
- prepare for our next meeting cycle beginning in Feb 2009
- begin construction of "what" we will cover
Primer Questions:
What are your challenges about what was covered?
For example: "I don't understand how to apply the 'relational strip poker' concept to the relationship with my friend. I'd like to role play that. Can we do that?"
What questions do you have that you'd like to see addressed?
For example: "What does it mean when it says 'Love always trusts.' out of 1 Corinthians 13?"
What other questions do you have for this blog discussion or for realtime discussion in our group time?
Documentation:
Here's a link to a Word document that covers the 9 weeks worth of material on this topic for your reference. If you'd like more information, please let me know and we'll post a link to that as well.
What other information would you like to see here?
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